


The Arms in Which You Belong

by darktensh17



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-11
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-03-07 03:30:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3159578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darktensh17/pseuds/darktensh17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fenris leaves Hawke and Kirkwall after their own night together, only to come back into Hawke's life in need of aid three years later with a young child at his side. Written for the DA Kink Meme</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started this back in July and thought maybe it was time to post it here. Maybe it'll give me the kick in the butt I need to actually finish it.

Hawke often thought about their one night together, and just what he had done wrong to make Fenris flee not only his presence but from Kirkwall as well. He knew that Fenris had been overly emotional when he’d come to Hawke. What had happened with Hadriana had shaken him, but he had seemed to know what he wanted. Their coupling had been intense and passion filled; Fenris had reacted positively to everything Hawke had done. 

And then he’d just up and left, with little in the way of explanation, leaving Hawke heartbroken and devastated.

All his friends advised him not to dwell on it, if Fenris had run it wasn’t because of something Hawke had done. Anders in particular was adamant about that point; Hawke couldn’t blame him for it, he and Fenris had never seen eye to eye. None of it had made things better, Hawke had been in love with Fenris, and that love had been thrown back in his face.

In the beginning it was all Hawke could think about. Despite what the others said, he wondered if it weren’t possibly due to something he had done. Everything had been going well until that point. Over time he learned to stop blaming himself, and to realize that whatever issues had caused Fenris to flee, were Fenris’ own problems. He couldn’t help but begin to feel angry at Fenris and resentful toward him after that. He had given Fenris everything, not just his heart, but his aid and his trust. 

Ater this Hawke found it easier to push Fenris to the back of his mind after that. He began to live his life again, continuing to help the people of Kirkwall, and spending time with the friends who appreciated him. With the murder of his mother and the qunari invasion, Fenris soon became the last thing on Hawke’s mind. He never expected to see Fenris again anyway,even if deep down he knew he still loved him and longed to see him again.

-

Hawke awoke to the sound of pounding on the front door. He wondered why Bodahn wasn’t answering it, before recalling that he and Sandal had gone on a trip to visit some friends. Poor Orana had caught a summer cold, and Hawke had ordered her to remain in bed. On top of that the herbal tea Anders had given her to combat it had a tendency to knock her out cold for the night. That meant that Hawke had to deal with any late night visitors himself.

He contemplated remaining in bed and ignoring the knocking until whoever it was went away, but after ten minutes he realized that wasn’t likely going to happen. With an annoyed sigh he got up, slipping on his robe and slippers. Duke looked up at him inquiringly as he passed. “It’s alright boy, it’s probably just someone who needs the Champion of Kirkwall’s aid in getting their cat out of a tree.” 

The Mabari huffed at that and rolled over to go back to sleep, uninterested in getting involved with any of Kirkwall’s cat and content in the knowledge that he wasn’t needed. Hawke envied him, once he was done giving whoever was at the door a piece of his mind, he was heading right back to sleep. It was too late and too ugly out to entertain any thoughts of adventures.

Hawke glanced out the window as headed out of the room, the sky was still covered by dark rain clouds. It had been raining in Kirkwall for the past four days, and Hawke hadn’t seen much of his companions because of it. Even the criminals seemed to have gone into hiding since the rain had started, and that suited Hawke just fine. He needed a nice break from saving the city from itself.

The pounding on the door became more insistent. “Don’t get your smalls in a twist, I’m coming.” Hawke groused, as he made it to the door and pulled it open. “What do you w-”

It was like something straight out of one of Varric’s novels. The second Hake pulled the door open a flash of lightning lit up the sky; highlighting sodden silver hair and lyrium tattoos. He looked exactly the same as the day he had walked out, and Hawke’s heart gave a lurch at the sight of him, all his buried feelings bubbling up to the surface. 

“Hawke.” 

The sound of his name jolted him, and the anger and hurt came flooding back. “You have some nerve coming back here after all of this time.” 

A look of shock crossed Fenris’ features before it was replaced with one of resignation. “I would not have come if there were any other options. . .After what transpired, I cannot blame you for your hostility.” 

“Then why are you here?” Hawke demanded, crossing his arms and glaring down at Fenris. “Just what has made you exert all other options?”

“Papa?” A fearful young voice asked, interrupting any reply Fenris may have had. The voice caused Hawke to notice the small child standing close to Fenris, though he couldn’t tell the child’s age or gender due to the dark cloak covering the child’s face.

Instead of curiosity, Hawke felt more anger surging through him. “I haven’t been with anyone else since that night because of how I felt for you. It seems you haven’t had such reservations.” In his anger he was nearly shouting, having no concern about who heard, he only wanted Fenris to know the pain that he had inflicted on him.

Fenris had the decency to at least look guilty, but his attention wasn’t on Hawke. Instead he was focusing on his child, picking the little one up and holding him close. “It’s alright Malcolm.” The child clung to him, burying his face in Fenris’ shoulder. 

“You go off with some trollop and you dare use my father’s name for your ill-gotten child!?” Hawke bellowed, offended beyond imagine and not caring at all when the child began to cry. 

Fenris held the child closer, but his burning green eyes were focused on Hawke; where there had been guilt before, now there was only anger. “I named him after his grandfather! Your father!” 

Hawke was about to retaliate when his brain registered just what Fenris had said. Instead of angry words, all he could manage was a weak and confused. “What?”

“Malcolm,” Fenris said softly to the child, rubbing his back. “This is your other father that I’ve told you stories about.” The child sniffled and peaked at Hawke. “Hawke, this is your son, Malcolm.” 

Still shocked, all anger having drained out of him, Hawke moved out of the doorway. “I think you had better come inside.”


	2. Chapter 2

“I’ll get some towels for you. I’m sure you know the way to the study, the fire will likely need more wood.” Hawke told Fenris as he made his way to the linen closet, using the short trip to try and sort out his thoughts. It was hard enough to accept that Fenris was back, the fact that he had a son with him though, and that son was apparently his and Hawke’s. . . it just wasn’t possible!

Hawke wished Bodahn and Sandal were there, at least then he wouldn’t have to face Fenris alone. Duke came out of the bedroom to walk beside him, sensing his master's needed comfort. Hawke gave him a pat on the head and a good scratch behind the ear. “Thanks Duke, I’m going to need all of the support that I can get I think.”

Grabbing a handful of towels from the linen closet, he slipped into his room to grab a spare robe for Fenris to wear. He didn’t have anything for the little one but the large blankets should be enough to dry and keep him warm. Making his way to the study he stood in front of the closed door, unable to make himself push it open. 

“Yes, Malcolm, he really is your papa.” Fenris’ voice came from the other side of the door, talking to the child. Hawke couldn’t hear the boy’s voice, but he heard Fenris’ reply. “He’s a great hero like I told you. He is not usually so. . .angry, he was merely surprised.” It sounded as though Fenris was trying to convince himself more than Malcolm. 

If it was true the child was theirs, then he would have been conceived during their one night together, which would make him around three years old. Hawke still couldn’t believe it was true. He wasn’t going to get any answers about what was going on from outside the door.

When he didn’t hear anything further from inside, he knocked on the door to alert Fenris he was there before pushing it open and entering, Duke padding in at his heels.

“I brought towels and a robe for you Fenris, since you look like you attempted to soak up most of the water that fell.” He joked weakly, holding the towels out to Fenris. Their fingers brushed for a moment and it sent a shock through Hawke’s system, as well as many memories about what those hands were capable of. 

“Thank you Hawke.” Fenris replied as he accepted them, turning to where Malcolm was sitting before the fire, stripped of his wet clothes. “Come here Malcolm.” 

With a wary look at Hawke, and a curious rather than fearful glance at Duke, Malcolm went over to his father, giggling when Fenris enveloped him in the large towel and began to dry him off brusquely. 

Hawke took that time to study Fenris’ child, he still couldn’t accept that the child was his. If Malcolm was about three he was small for his age, perhaps due to his elven blood. His hair was dark, as dark as Hawke’s own and just as curly now that it was drying. Hawke could see Fenris in the child’s face; from the big green eyes, to the sharp cheek bones, and even his pointed chin. When he looked closer he could see things that reminded him of Bethany and Carver when they were young; the chubby cheeks, and the cute Amell button nose. His ears had a slight point to it as Hawke had seen with some half elves such as Feynriel, but otherwise he looked like any little human boy did.

Maybe Hawke was trying to see what wasn’t there as he looked at Malcolm. It didn’t take much to see that he looked like he could be a child born of his and Fenris’ one night of passion. _And maybe you’re not over Fenris as much as you thought you were and you’re trying to find anything that can tie the two of you together._

Once Malcolm was dry, Fenris stripped out of his own wet clothes and dried himself off. Hawke couldn’t help but stare, remembering what it felt like to have that body in his arms. Fenris was just as beautiful as he remembered, if not a little thinner. When he slipped Hawke’s robe on, it hung loose on him, sliding over one shoulder, much to Fenris’ annoyance and Hawke’s private shame. Thank the Maker the robes were made long. 

While Hawke’s attention was focused on Fenris, his mabari’s attention was focused on the small person that Fenris had brought with him. Duke remembered Fenris and was not bothered by his presence, Malcolm however was a stranger. Walking over, Duke sniffed the boy, almost knocking him over as he did, before plopping down next to the boy to curl around him with a happy whine. Malcolm’s giggle of delight drew both Hawke and Fenris’ attention to him.

“Well it looks like Duke has made a new friend.” Hawke observed, brought back to the present. “I’m sure he’ll be a great sitter while we talk.”

Fenris nodded and took a seat in one of the chairs; moving it so that he could keep an eye on Malcolm, face Hawke, and have a view of the door. Somehow Hawke knew that Fenris trusted him to keep watch on the window at his back.

He was quiet for a moment, his gaze on Malcolm who was yawning and snuggling into Duke’s side.. “I imagine you have many questions.” 

“You imagine right,” Hawke replied, getting some brandy from the cupboard and pouring them both a glass before taking his own seat. “If that boy is my child, the first question of course is how that is possible.”

One of Fenris’ eyebrows’ rose in his clear amusement. “You are speaking with someone who, due to the lyrium carved into his skin, can become incorporeal enough to put their hand through a man's chest. The how should be fairly obvious."

“Alright, so Danarius did some kind of magic that changed your physiology and allowed you to get pregnant.” Hawke said, mentally conceding that Fenris was right, it was an obvious answer. 

“From what little he told me about the spell, it was supposed to happen only once.” Fenris explained, his fingers tightening around the glass of brandy in his hand. “His intent was to beget me with a child who would hopefully be imbued with the properties of the lyrium essentially unlimited mana. His hope was to raise the child as his heir and the strongest mage in the Imperium.”

Hawke frowned at that, it didn’t sound too far off from what little he knew about Fenris’ former master. “So why did it work for me where it failed for him?” 

Fenris shrugged, draining the glass in one shot. “Danarius was not young, it is possible that he was impotent. He did not have any children that I knew of so it is within the realm of possibility that he was incapable. You clearly did not suffer from that problem.” He looked away from Hawke, staring at the now sleeping Malcolm. “You were also the only person I had been with since escaping from Danarius, the only person I wished to be with.” 

The comment warmed Hawke’s heart, but there was still one burning question that he couldn’t ignore. “Why did you leave?”

“I. . .” Fenris face crumbled and his eyes when he looked into Hawke’s were full of remorse and something else. “Between the memories of my past slipping away through my fingers, my inability at the time to do anything but hate, it as too much. I had no plans to leave, but within days I knew that the spell Danarius had cast on me worked, I could not stay.”

“Why not?” Hawke prodded, standing up and walking over to stand in front of Fenris. “Why did you run Fenris? I would have helped you, you had to have known that.” He resisted the urge to reach out and touch Fenris face, barely.

Fenris looked away, his gaze fixed on his lap and his clenched fists. “I didn’t have a choice! Not only is Kirkwall unsafe for anything that is abnormal, particularly magical, as much as I hate to agree with the abomination, but if I had remained in one place Danarius would have come for me!” 

“He didn’t come for you the entire time before you ran.” Hawke reminded, his anger at Fenris’ leaving him flaring anew. “What made this so much different!?”

“Because the spell was set with blood magic and he would have known the moment it was activated!” Fenris shouted, standing up so that he and Hawke were face to face. Malcolm made a distressed sound in his sleep and the yelling, and Fenris’ next words came out as an angry whisper. “If I had remained here he would have come, I could not stay in one place for too long. You had just begun your new life, and I had left you; I knew I could not ask for your help. I left without word to minimize the chances of Danarius tracing me.” 

Hawke grabbed Fenris’ shoulders, pulling him into a tight hug. “I would have done anything for you Fenris. Even if I was angry I still would have helped you.” 

Fenris did not fight the embrace; in fact he leaned into it, burying his face in Hawke’s neck. “I know. . .but I was afraid.” 

They remained that way for several moments, soaking in each others warmth and comfort. Hawke didn’t want to pull away, he wanted to remain that way forever, but there was one more thing he had to ask. “What made you come back?”

“Danarius has tracked me. Malcolm and I barely managed to escape him. I knew that I could not face him alone. I know I have no right to ask for your aid after all that has happened, but there is no one else I trust enough to go to for aid.”

Hawke tilted Fenris’ head up, forcing him to meet his eyes. “You know that I will. I would give my life to protect you and our son.” He sealed the promise with a kiss.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read this, left kudos and comments. I'm glad so many people are enjoying this. Working on this has really ignited my love for Hawke/Fenris again.

Hawke returned to bed that night feeling elated. The night had started out like any other boring night and had turned into something beyond Hawke’s wildest dreams. Not only was Fenris back in his life, but he had a son and the possibility of family once again. With Carver in the Wardens and his mother’s murder, Hawke had been lonely. While he considered Duke, Orana, Bodhan and Sandal, as well as all his friends family, it just wasn’t the same. 

He went back to bed alone that night, Fenris having taken up the spare room for he and Malcolm to stay in, but it didn’t bother Hawke. The fact that the man he loved and their son where only two doors down kept him happy and warm throughout the night.

The next day he awoke to a child’s laugh and it took him a moment to remember what had occurred. Hurrying to dress, he made his way downstairs as quickly as he could, smiling at the sight of Malcolm playing catch with Duke. He wasn’t able to throw the ball very far, but that didn’t seem to bother the Mabari at all. Already it seemed that Malcolm was being accepted into the family.

Not far away, Fenris was sitting at the dining room table drinking tea and watching Malcolm play. He offered Hawke a shy smile, the one that used to make Hawke’s heart melt, the one that still seemed to have that power. “Orana insisted on getting ingredients for breakfast, after she gave me a lecture on breaking your heart.” The last part was said quietly and in a guilt laden voice.

“She’s gotten a bit of a spine having to deal with everything these last three years.” Hawke said, walking over to Fenris and cupping his face. “Don’t dwell on it, we may still have things we need to talk about, but know that I forgive you.” 

Fenris looked as though he wished to say something more, but settled on a nod. To Hawke he seemed calmer now, and more at peace with himself. However it had happened, Hawke had no doubt that those changes had begun with Malcolm. 

Malcolm chose at that moment to come running over with a big grin on his face and Duke following at his heels. “Papa! Look!” He held out his hands, waiting for Fenris to do the same, and dropped the drool covered ball he’d been throwing for Duke into Fenris’ hands.

Hawke watched Fenris’ nose wrinkle in distaste, but he only smiled and pressed a kiss to his son’s forehead. “Thank you Malcolm, but I think Duke would prefer this.” Much to Duke’s delight, Fenris threw the ball as far as he could in the limitations of the manor, the mabari chasing after it with an excited bark. “It is time to wash up, Orana will be bringing back some breakfast soon as well as some new clothes for you.”

Malcolm nodded before holding his hands to be picked up. Fenris lifted him into his arms and cuddled him, before heading up to the bathing chamber. It was simply amazing how gentle Fenris was with Malcolm, Hawke would never have thought him capable of it. It saddened him though that Malcolm had yet to pay much attention to him, he couldn’t blame the boy though, Hawke was likely as much of a legend to Malcolm as Andraste was.

Sighing to himself, Hawke went and retrieved his letters, deciding to do any paperwork he needed in the dining room so he could be close to Fenris and Malcolm. The first thing he did was pen a quick note to Varric telling him to have everyone gather at the manor that night. By the time he was done and the note had been sent off, Fenris and Malcolm were coming down the stairs. 

Fenris had attempted to brush Malcolm’s hair into some semblance of neatness but in true Hawke style it seemed to have been unsuccessful. He was in the same clothes as earlier but they had been tidied up some to look more presentable. Hawke thought he was the most adorable child he had ever seen. 

“Garrett.” Fenris said, using his first name, as he lead Malcolm over to where Hawke was standing. “Meet your son Malcolm. Malcolm meet your papa Garrett.” 

Malcolm watched him with Fenris’ big green eyes, still nervous. Garrett smiled down at him before kneeling so that he was as close to eye level with Malcolm as he could get. “Hello Malcolm, I’m so happy to meet you.”

“Go ahead.” Fenris told Malcolm gently, when Malcolm looked up to him for assurance. 

There was a moment where Malcolm did nothing, before suddenly throwing his little arms around Hawke’s neck with a cry of ‘papa.’ Hawke picked him up and held him close feeling tears prickling his eyes as Malcolm cried into his shirt. He had thought about fatherhood but never entertained the idea that he would ever have children of his own. “Malcolm. I’m here now, and I promise I will never leave you.” 

He looked up at Fenris who was watching them with a slight smile. “He’s grown up on stories about his papa Garrett. I’ve told him all about your heroic deeds, even how you saved Kirkwall when I heard the news about the Qunari attack. You’re his hero and he has been very eager to meet you.” 

“Fenris.” Hawke held out his hand and pulled Fenris into his arms. “You are the hero, going through all of this alone and bringing up such a wonderful son. This is simply beyond my wildest dreams. Once we defeat Danarius you’ll both stay here with me. I won’t let anything happen to either of you, no more having to run and hide. We’ll raise Malcolm together here as a family.” 

Fenris said nothing, though he didn’t pull away from the embrace. It wasn't until sound of the door opening signalled Orana’s returned with breakfast as well as clothing for Malcolm, that he actually moved out of Hawke’s embrace.

\- 

Hawke had Orana make anything that Malcolm wanted for dinner much to both her and Fenris’ amusement. Being on the run all of his life had not give Malcolm much chance to try different foods. Orana ended up making a mix of different dishes for him to try, and much to Hawke’s amusement none of them featured fish.

“If he is going to develope his palate it will be on foods worth eating.” Fenris said with a sniff of disdain when Hawke had raised an eyebrow his way. 

In true Hawke fashion, Malcolm was curious and willing to try everything, he was also very expressive when he found something he liked or disliked and it made for an interesting dinner. It had been awhile since Hawke had laughed to much. 

Hawke has been upfront to Fenris about their friends coming over to discuss what to do about Danarius that night. And so following dinner Fenris gave Malcolm a bath and dressed him in some of the nice clothes Orana had picked out for him. Hawke suspected this also gave Fenris time to ready himself mentally and emotionally for dealing with everyone. Amongst their group there had been those friends he had been close to, Aveline, Sebastian, and Isabela, and others,particularly Anders, that he had never seen eye to eye with. 

The two were waiting in the study while Hawke tried not to pace in front of the stairs when it neared the time for everyone to arrive. They all arrived right on time, following Orana into the parlour where he was waiting.

“What’s this all about Hawke? Usually you don’t send for the whole group.” Varric asked from the head of the group. “Must be something really important.”

Hawke had gone over what to tell them and had decided on half truths at first, to ease them into the reunion with Fenris. “It is, we’re going to have to deal with a magister soon.” 

Aveline frowned, crossing her arms. “I won’t have any magisters coming into my city, especially not slaving ones.” 

“That’s why we have to deal with him quickly.” Hawke said, barely fighting back a nervous laugh. “Better to nip these sorts of problems in the bud.” 

Anders scoffed. “He could be a peaceful magister and not a blood mage. Not all mages are evil, and I’m sure it’s the same for magisters.” 

“Oh no, he’s evil; blood magic, experimentation, slavery and everything bad.” Hawke assured him, leading the way upstairs to the study. 

“How do you know that?” Anders asked sceptically as they followed him up, all of them stopping in front of the closed doors of the study when Hawke did. 

Hawke squared his shoulders than, his hands on the door handles. “I have a credible witness.” As he said the words he pushed the door open revealing Fenris in one of the large chairs, Malcolm sitting on his lap. 

There was a moment of shocked silence as everyone took in just what they were seeing. It was Merrill who spoke first, surprisingly. “Fenris? Where have you been all this time?”

She seemed to break the ice as everyone crowded into the room, even Anders though he looked as much annoyed as he did relieved to see Fenris back. 

“You’re looking well Broody, who is the little guy?” Varric asked, going over and clasping hands with Fenris. 

“Varric, it is good to see you.” Fenris replied, standing and setting Malcolm on the floor. “This is Malcolm, he is Hawke and my child.”

That brought a hush to the room as everyone stared between Fenris, Malcolm, and himself. It didn’t take long for the questions, and a few outrages, to spill forward, it took longer to explain everything and soothe any ruffled feathers. 

“So you’re back because your former master has finally gotten the balls to come after you?” Isabela asked draped over the chair Fenris was sitting in.

Fenris nodded, his eyes on where Merrill and Aveline of all people were playing with Malcolm. “I managed to keep myself and Malcolm hidden for most of the last three years, but it seems he has finally tracked me down.”

Hawke gave his hand a squeeze of comfort. “We won’t let him harm you or Malcolm. If he thinks he’s going to have an easy time of it, he’s in for a deadly shock.”

“I still can’t believe it.” Anders shook his head, he seemed to be having the most trouble accepting Fenris’ return. “I’ve looked him over, he’s a perfectly healthy child. I can sense Hawke and you in him, but it goes against natural order. Even I could never imagined magic was capable of this.” 

“Says the mage possessed by a spirit and not a demon.” Fenris replied without looking at Anders. “It is no more impossible than that or the lyrium carved into my skin.” 

Before any fights could start between the two, Hawke stepped in. “We need to decide what to do about Danarius.” 

Varric looked up from where he was writing in a small leather notebook. “We set a trap. He already knows Fenris is here, but he may not know that he has allies. We make him think it’s easy to get what he wants, and then bam! take the bastard out." 

“I will not put Malcolm in danger.” Fenris hissed, opening his arms when Malcolm came over to him in comfort.

“There is enough of us that you can separate into groups.” Sebastian suggested. “One group can be with Fenris to defeat Danarius and the other can keep Malcolm safe.”

Isabela ruffled Malcolm’s hair as he snuggled Fenris. “I think it’s a good idea. If we set it up well enough he’ll never know what hit him. Obviously we’ll use Fenris as the bait and not the little guy. We just need to find a way to set up our trap.”

They all thought deeply about that for a moment. It was easy enough to set a trap, but luring someone into that trap was a little harder. Hawke didn’t want Fenris to be in any danger, so that made it harder to formulate plan.

“I know a way.” Fenris said finally, handing Malcolm to Hawke and leaving the room. He returned not long after with a pile of letters. “These are from my sister. I had letters sent to her while I was carrying Malcolm. We spoke of meeting, I could write her and invite her here, I have no doubt Danarius is watching her.”

Varric nodded gravely in agreement. “We set a date, keep an eye on the newcomers to Kirkwall, hope Danarius is predictable and then spring a surprise attack on him. I like it.”

Hawke did as well, to a certain point. “We’ll have to keep Malcolm somewhere that Danarius won’t be able to get to him.”

“We can keep him in Viscount’s Keep,Donnic and I can watch him in my office with one group.” Aveline volunteered. 

Fenris looked at Aveline and gave her a nod.. “I would trust you and Donnic to guard my son. I would also feel better if Sebastian, and one of the mages was with you, preferably Anders.”

“You’d trust me with your son?” Anders asked him in surprise

“I may not share your views on most things, but you are a good healer, and I would trust you to do everything you could to keep him safe.” Fenris told him, Hawke was surprised and proud to hear him say something like that to Anders.

“You’re not so bad yourself sometimes elf.” Was the reply he received.

Malcolm’s yawning interrupted any further conversation. “Why don’t we continue this after we get this little guy to bed.” Hawke suggested, standing with Malcolm in his arms. “Say goodnight Malcolm.”

“Nighty.” Malcolm said shyly, burying his head in Hawke’s shoulder. Everyone either chuckled or awed before bidding him goodnight back.


	4. Chapter 4

There wasn’t much they could do about setting a trap for Danarius until he took the bait. Varric was going to use his sources to keep tabs on Minrathous, where Fenris informed them Danarius would likely be, and let them know if there was any movement that could be by Danatius. He also had people watching any elves that fit the written description of Fenris’ sister that she had sent to Fenris. 

For Fenris and Hawke there was nothing to do but wait, and waiting it seemed was still not something Fenris was particularly good at. Though Hawke did notice that he kept any irritation or impatience to himself so as not to worry Malcolm. 

Hawke decided that distracting Fenris from worrying about Danarius would be the best course of action to take. He wanted to reconnect with Fenris and get to know Malcolm better and finding things for the three of them to do as a family seemed to be a good way to go about it.

Since Fenris only seemed to have the clothes on his back, and Malcolm a few pairs of pants, shirts, and smalls; Hawke decided that the first family outing would be to get both of them proper clothes, and some new shoes for Malcolm. Smiling to himself Hawke went and asked Orana to pack them something that they could take with them to have a small picnic with.

“Of course Serah Hawke.” Orana replied with a smile, it seemed Malcolm being in the house was affecting everyone positively. He had such a vibrant and infectious spirit it was hard not to be happy around him. Hawke wondered if that was how Fenris had been before the markings. 

While Orana worked on breakfast and their lunch for later, Hawke went in search of Fenris and Malcolm. He found them in the library, curled up together on one of the large plush chairs that Hawke had gotten delivered from Antiva. Malcolm was snuggled against Fenris, while his father read to him from a book he had open for Malcolm to see the pictures of. “And the Champion of Kirkwall defeated the Arishok in an honourable duel, though he was wounded in the process. He saved the people and restored order to the city.”

“Papa Hawke did that?” Malcolm asked in awe, placing his hands on what Hawke could only guess was a picture of him. 

Fenris chuckled and nodded. “Yes, and he continues to be a hero, he is going to fight the bad guy that has been following us.”

Malcolm looked up at Fenris, eyes wide. “No more running?” 

Hawke couldn’t see Fenris’ expression, but he could see him tensing, and could almost picture the look of uncertainty that would be on his face as he searched for an answer. Deciding that he didn’t want to hear Fenris answer, because there was only one answer that was possible. Hawke stepped fully into the room. “No more running. You’ll both stay with me of course. There’s so much time we have to make up, starting today with buying you both clothes and toys.”

“Papa Hawke!” Malcolm reached up for him, and Hawle picked him up, giving him a big hug. In the few short days since Fenris had shown up again in his life along with Malcolm, all of Malcolm’s shyness of him had melted away. It seemed he was as eager as Hawke himself to develop a father-son relationship. The only one who seemed uncertain was Fenris. Hawke suspected that it may be because he was still planning to run after Danarius was dealt with. 

Hawke could see Fenris had tensed further at his words and knew that he was right about Fenris still planning on running. “Orana is going to make us lunch for a picnic, we’ll go out shopping and you can have anything you want.”

Malcolm started at him as though he had grown a second head. “Anything?”

“Anything.” Hawke repeated, pressing a kiss to his forehead and setting him down. “Why don’t you go and see if Orana is finished breakfast, as soon as we’re done eating and you’re washed and dressed. Take Duke with you.” 

The mabari who had been lying not far from the chair Fenris was sitting in, stretched and stood, padding over to Hawke and Malcolm. Hawke gave him a pat on the head, and then set Malcolm on top of him. “Go slow Duke, and Malcolm hold on tightly.” 

“Okay!” Malcolm giggled excitedly as Duke left the room at a gentle walk, Malcolm clinging to his collar.

Hawke turned to where Fenris was glaring at him, not having moved from the chair. “Hawke. . .you cannot make promises you may not be able to keep.”

“I’m rich Fenris, I can do more than buy you both some clothes and Malcolm some toys.” Hawke replied, deflecting what Fenris really meant.

“Hawke. You know that is not what I mean. Do not promise him that we are staying here not when-” 

Hawke had to keep his anger in check at Fenris’ words. “When what Fenris? When you run again? We’re going to defeat Danarius and you won’t have to run anymore. You and Malcolm can remain here with me.” He walked over to Fenris, kneeling before him. “Is that really such a horrible thought?”

Fenris did not look at him, his gaze instead on his hands, which looked so much smaller without their usual clawed gauntlets. “I will never truly be free. These markings are a curse that will not allow for that.” 

“I can keep you safe Fenris, both of you.” Hawke murmured, taking his hands between his own. “If I can stop Danarius I can stop anyone who would come after you, and I will.” He promised, gazing up at Fenris. “Not just me, but all of our friends.” 

“Hawke. . .” Fenris finally met Hawke’s eyes, he could see that Fenris was terrified and he knew without asking that it wasn’t just the fear of Danarius, Fenris still held the same fears as he had their one night together.

Hawke pressed a kiss to the back of one of Fenris’ hands. “I won’t deny that I still love you, seeing you again, being with you and Malcolm these last few days, it’s made me happier than I’ve been for a long time. I want to be a father to Malcolm, and to keep you safe, it doesn’t have to be anymore than that.” 

Fenris relaxed marginally at this declaration, but the uncertainty and fear was still present. “I do not know. . .but I can assure you that I will not make a decision until after we have dealt with Danarius.” 

It wasn’t what Hawke wanted to hear, but he knew it was as good as he was going to get. “Thank you.” He stood, helping Fenris up as well, as he did he caught sight of the book Fenris had been reading; on the cover was a cartoonish drawing of himself with his sword raised in victory. “Where did you get that?”

“Varric delivered it with four others; he and Isabela have been working hard to make them for Malcolm.” Fenris replied with a smirk as Hawke glared at the book. “Malcolm loves them, he gets to read about his papa Hawke and not just hear about him now.”

“Well if Malcolm likes them, I guess I can allow Varric and Isabela to live a little longer.” His heart swelled as the comment caused Fenris to chuckle. He wanted to say something else but Malcolm’s voice and Duke’s barking alerted them to breakfast being ready. There would be more time to talk later.


	5. Chapter 5

After breakfast they headed out and to the markets of High Town; Malcolm giggled happily from where he was sitting on Hawke’s shoulders, while Fenris walked on his one side and Duke on the other. They were going to visit the tailors before going anywhere else.

Hawke was determined to put his son in the best clothes possible, including some custom made pieces. Fenris, who cared little about fashion, had only shrugged and let Hawke do as he willed in the matter. Hawke could imagine that Fenris only cared that Malcolm would have a proper wardrobe and all the things that Fenris himself has been unable to provide.

Hawke wondered how hard the last three years had been for Fenris and Malcolm, but knew better than to ask. Looking at Fenris though, it was obvious that there had been many difficulties. During the time Fenris had been back, Hawke had noticed that while Malcolm had the basics of everything a child could need, everything that Fenris had was worn and in some cases on the verge of falling apart. Even the sword he carried, while functional, was completely unadorned, it was also not the one he’d had before he left. It wasn’t hard to tell that he had sold it and also had gone without many things to ensure that Malcolm did not go without.

“Fenris, why don’t we look at weapons and see if we can’t get your armour repaired. Maybe we can even get you some finer clothes to match some of Malcolms.” Hawke suggested, watching as Fenris tensed slightly.

There was silence as Hawke watched Fenris clench and unclench his fists, a sure sign that he was not happy. When Fenris did reply, his voice was low and tinged with anger. “Do not concern yourself with me Hawke, your concern for Malcolm is encouraged and I do not deny your right to . . .” He paused as if seeking a proper word, “indulge yourself in supplying him with the things I could not. But I do not need your pity.”

“It’s not pity!” Hawke found himself hissing back, trying to quash down a feeling of resentment. “Whatever you may think, I care about you Fenris, and I never stopped despite everyone telling me it was what was best for me.”

Fenris stopped then, his eyes burning as he glared up at Hawke. “I did not ask that you continue to care. It would have been best for both of us if you had done as you were advised.” Even though his voice remained barely above a whisper, Hawke felt as though Fenris were shouting at him.

Malcolm whimpered slightly, and his little hands tightened in Hawke’s hair. Fenris picked on Malcolm’s discomfort immediately, sighing to himself, his gazing boring into Hawke’s. “We will speak of this later for I know it is not a subject you will drop so easily. You were never one to listen when others told you not to pursue something.”

If it were not for the situation, Hawke would have laughed at the last comment. Instead he nodded, and then handed Malcolm down to Fenris, when he held his arms out for him. “I’m sorry we scared you.” He told his son, pressing a kiss to his forehead before Fenris took him. “Why don’t we go and get you some new clothes and then you can go and pick out some toys.”

Malcolm nodded, his mood brightening slightly, though he clung to Fenris as they walked. They went about their business, settling on toys first to ensure Malcolm was happier, and then clothing and anything else Hawke thought he would need. Fenris continued to refuse anything for himself, not that Hawke was dumb enough to ask him again after their earlier argument.

Their picnic was a somewhat sombre affair. They’d set up in one of the few parks in Kirkwall, on a patch of grass surrounded by flowering trees. Malcolm and Duke seemed to be the only ones able to enjoy it. The two of them were chasing each other and rolling in the grass together. Hawke kept an eye on them, but most of his attention was on Fenris, watching him as he ate, or rather as he picked at the food. It was another thing Hawk has noticed about Fenris since his return, he hardly ate anything and it further fueled his suspicions about how much Fenris had given up for Malcolm. Hawke had no doubt that he ate only enough to keep his strength up.

“You can have as much as you like Fenris. There’s no point in letting it go to waste.” He prodded, pushing some apple tarts Fenris’ way. When he’d asked Orana to throw together some food for a picnic, he’d ensured she included at least one dessert with apples, recalling that Fenris had once admitted to enjoying apples quite a bit.

Fenris glanced over at him from the corner of his eye before slowly taking one of the tarts and nibbling on it while he kept his eyes on Malcolm. Hawke counted it as a small victory, of what kind he wasn’t sure, but he knew it was something.

The rest of the picnic went by uneventfully. Hawke played a game of tag with Malcolm until he was exhausted, and then after a few more trips around the Hightown market, they headed back to the estate. By this time Malcolm had fallen asleep in Fenris’ arms and when they got back, Fenris wasted no time in putting him to bed.

Hawke waited for him in the study, knowing that despite Fenris’ unwillingness to discuss their past, or any possibility of a future between them, he would still come. He couldn’t run away this time, not after having introduced Malcolm and Hawke.

Going over to the liquor cabinet he pulled out an expensive bottle of wine and two glasses. The wine wasn’t aggregio pavali, but he was certain it would suit Fenris’ taste; it had the same sort of fruitiness to it. He was hoping that it would help Fenris relax and make the soon to come conversation easier on both of them.

Half a candle mark later he was beginning to wonder if he’d miscalculated, he’d been so sure that Fenris would come. Maybe he’d been reading too much into Fenris’ return and his reactions around Hawke. No! Shaking his head Hawke sat down on one of the plush chairs with his head in his hands. He was sure that Fenris still felt something for him; it was in the way he acted, how he held himself when he was close to Hawke, and how he seemed to be unable to meet Hawke’s eyes even though the rogue constantly saw him watching from the corner of his eyes. “Or I’m just a hopeless idiot.” He grumbled to himself with a hopeless sigh.

“The first step to fixing your faults is to acknowledge them, some would say.” Came Fenris’ humour tinged voice from Hawke’s right.

Hawke jumped to his feet with a nervous laugh. “Fenris! I was beginning to think you wouldn’t come.” He felt like a fool as soon as the words left his mouth, especially when Fenris was frowning at him in displeasure.

“I keep my word Hawke.”

Deflating, Hawke nodded. “I know, I didn’t mean to say that you don’t.” He turned to the wine and poured some, trying to give himself time to collect himself. For once words were failing him, but they always seemed to when it came to Fenris. “I wouldn’t have blamed you if you hadn’t wanted to speak to me, not after earlier.” He said as he held out a glass to Fenris.

“You are persistent, I did not think you would let up until we spoke.” He sipped the wine, releasing a hum of pleasure at the flavour. “At least your taste in drink has improved.”

Chuckling, Hawke sipped at his own drink. “I chose that one especially for you and your delicate pallet.”

The comment brought another laugh from Fenris. “It is not delicate; my taste buds have simply not been shorn off by the vile that Corff calls wine.”

“I bet you’ve missed that vile, don’t deny it.”

The comment caused the smile to fall from Fenris’ lips and Hawke watched him swish the wine in his glass contemplatively. “While I may not have missed the Hanged Man’s piss wine, I have missed the company of everyone, even the abomination.”

Hawke sensed something in the air, waiting for him to say something, the right thing. Setting down his wine glass he stepped over to Fenris, and gently took him into his arms. “Did you miss me?”

Fenris made a distressed noise in the back of his throat, but he made no move to pull away. “Hawke.”

“I love you Fenris, and that love hasn’t weakened over these last few years.” Hawke murmured, rubbing Fenris’ back in soothing circles, secretly amazed that he didn’t have a hand in his chest yet. “If it takes a decade for you to realize how sincere I am and to make you comfortable enough to accept that, then I’ll continue waiting.”

“And if I am never ready?” Fenris whispered, his face pressed in to Hawke’s chest.

Hawke pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “I’ll still be here for you and Malcolm. Just having you both in my life would be enough for me.” He meant every word of it, even loving Fenris from afar would be more than enough.

Fenris shook his head and stepped back to look up at Hawke. There were so many emotions swirling around in his eyes that Hawke couldn’t make out what he was feeling. “You are foolish Hawke. . . when I left I never held any hope that you would wait for me. But deep in my heart part of me wished it were true.”

“It is true Fenris and it always will be.” Reaching up he stroked Fenris’ face tenderly, before cupping his cheek. “You’re the one who makes all the calls on how this should go, if it goes anywhere.”

For a moment Fenris said and did nothing; then his lips were pressed against Hawke’s in a chaste kiss. “Then I choose this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think one or two more chapters and this will be over. If so that will make it my first fully completed multi-chapter fic. So exciting!


	6. Chapter 6

A week later found Fenris, Merrill, Varric and himself heading into The Hanged Man to meet with Fenris’ supposed sister. Malcolm had been bundled up to disguise him and taken by Anders, Isabela and Sebastian to Aveline’s office in Viscount’s Keep where he would be safest. He’d cried the entire time and Hawke had watched how hard it was for Fenris to let him go. 

Hawke gave his hand a squeeze of assurance, knowing how much worry Fenris must be feeling. “If things go the way we suspect, after tonight you won’t have to worry about running or having him in danger.” He didn’t mention that Fenris and Malcolm were welcome to stay with him forever; Fenris knew the offer was there and when he was ready Hawke would know as well. 

“Thank you Hawke.” Fenris gave his hand a squeeze back before pulling away and pushing the door to The Hanged Man open. 

Following in behind him, Hawke took a moment to glance around the room, noticing that there were fewer patrons than usual inside. A glance at Corff netted him a stiff nod, confirming Hawke’s suspicions; something was about to go down here. Fenris’ sharp intake of breath brought his attention to the redheaded elf sitting on her own at a table in the corner. 

“It really is you.” She said, not looking up at them as they enetered.

Fenris approached her cautiously, and Hawke’s heart broke at how nervous he seemed. “Varania?” 

“It is you.” Varania’s voice shook as she stood up and faced him, her eyes filled with sorrow.

“I-I remember you,” Fenris’ voice sounded so broken as he spoke, filled with unnameable emotion. “We played in our master’s courtyard while Mother worked. You called me. . .”

“Leto. That’s your name.” It was only then that she stood, though she did not turn to face Fenris. Hawke knew why, she wasn’t able to face the brother she was so obviously betraying. 

“What’s wrong?” Fenris asked Varania desperately. Hawke could understand, after what had happened the night he left, he knew how much Fenris wanted to know about his past. If only Varania hadn’t betrayed him like they suspected they would. “Why are you so-” He did not get a chance to finish, Hawke interrupting him urgently.

“Fenris! We have to get out of here!” Even as he shouted the words, it was already too late.

From the top of the steps came a chastising voice, full of obvious amusement. “Ah my little Fenris, predictable as always.” 

Eyes widening in fear, Fenris turned to face his former master, his body tense and his fists clenched “Danarius!” Hawke stepped up beside him, lending him silent support as he turned to glare are Varania. “You lead him here!”

Danarius clucked his tongue in consternation. “Now, now Fenris don’t blame your sister. She did what any good Imperial citizen should.”

Varania flinched at his words, feeling guilty for her actions no doubt. Let her feel guilty, there was nothing worse than betraying your own family. Hawke watched as Fenris turned his attention back to Danarius. “I never wanted these filthy marking Danarius or any of your other gifts. But I won’t let you kill me get them.” He didn’t need to mention Malcolm for those gathered to know he was referring to his son as well.

Danarius laughed mockingly at his words. “How little you know my pet.” His attention slid from Fenris to Hawke, seizing him up. “And this is your new master then? Then Champion of Kirkwall, impressive.”

“Fenris doesn’t belong to anyone.” Hawke growled out, stepping in front of Fenris in a protective manner. He wouldn’t let anyone insult or hurt him, Hawke would protect both Fenris and Malcolm until his last breath.

“Do I detect a note of jealousy?” Danarius appeared amused, glancing between Hawke and Fenris with a knowing smirk. “It’s not surprising. The lad is rather skilled, isn’t he?”

Hawke bristled at the implication, as Fenris hissed and pushed him aside. “Shut your mouth Danarius!” He cried, markings lighting up even as he reached for the Sword of Mercy which Hawke had given him the day before. 

Looking equal amount disappointed and annoyed, Danarius pulled his staff from his back with a sigh. “The word is master.” 

Behind him Varania was quick to flee as the soldiers who had accompanied Danarius stepped forward. Hawke took them in noting that most of them were the usual sort of foot soldier as well as a handful of slavers. They should pose no real trouble, give that they were facing down a magister though, he knew to expect shades and demon’s at some point. With Varric and Merrill guarding their backs, Hawke and Fenris charged forward, blades flashing and swinging. 

The battle was brutal and bloody. Hawke took more than a few hits; one particularly brutal on to the ribs had him favouring his left side. None of the others seemed to be faring much better, but they continued to fight. Hawke was particularly concerned about Fenris, who seemed to have gone berserk, taking and dishing out blows without cause or concern.

When the shield around Danarius finally broke, Hawke watched as Fenris dropped his sword and stalked forward, grabbing Danarius by the neck. The magister gasped for air, grabbing a hold of Fenris’ arm desperately. “You are no longer my master!” He cried as he sank his other hand into Danarius’ chest and crushed his heart. 

After he dropped the body, Fenris whirled on the terrified Varania huddling in a corner. Stepping over Danarius’ body he advanced menacingly toward her even as she held her hands up in defence. “I had no choice Leto.” 

“Stop calling me that!” He growled, stopping just shy of where she was cowering. She shrank back further, but Fenris didn’t seem care for her fear.

Despite her fear, Varania continued with her explanation, perhaps hoping for some leniency. “He was going to make me his apprentice. I would have been a magister.” 

Wrong thing to say, Hawke thought to himself with a shake of his head as Fenris snarled out, “You sold out your own brother to become a magister!?” 

“You have no idea what we went through!” Varania cried, straightening and glaring up at him. “What I had to do since mother died! This was my only chance!”

Fenris didn’t seem to register her words at all as his markings lit up and he advanced toward her. “And now you had no chance at all!” 

“Please don’t do this!” She cried, her gaze fixing on Hawke who had come up behind Fenris, hoping to calm him slightly. “Please tell him to stop!”

“Wait.” Hawke’s voice was sharper than he meant them to be, but his mind was on the body of his younger sibling lying on the ground. “Don’t kill her.” 

Fists clenched, Fenris rounded on Hawke. “Why not!? She was ready to see me killed!” He turned back to Varania with disgust. “What is she to me other than just one more tool of the magisters?” 

Hawke’s tone was gentle when he replied, hoping to soothe Fenris. “This is your family Fenris.”

“Elf. Fenris.” Fenris turned at the sound of Varric’s voice as he joined them. “I know how hard this is to believe but this is the last thing you want to do.” There was pity in his eyes, as well as understanding. Hawke knew that Varric understood what it was like to be betrayed by family. 

It seemed that Varric’s words got through to Fenris, turning away he growled, “Get out!” Not bothering to look at Varania as she ran past him.

She stopped a few feet away. “You said you didn’t ask for this. That at least is true.” There was something in her tone that had Fenris tensing. “You wanted, competed for it. When he won he used the boon to have Mother and I freed.”

Fenris turned to face her, his expression one of pain, making Hawke want to Hawke him tightly and never let him go. “Why are you telling me this?!”

“Freedom was no boon. I look on you now and I think you received the better end of the bargain.” She turned to go then, and Hawke secretly bid her good riddance. She may still be alive but he wanted nothing more to do with her and he was sure Fenris didn’t either.

“I thought discovering my past would bring a sense of belonging.” Fenris said as he turned to face Hawke. “But I was wrong. Magic has tainted that to.”

Reaching for him, Hawke pulled Fenris into his arms. “You don’t need to know your past to belong somewhere. Magic gave us Malcolm, and together the three of us can be a family. You’re free now; there is no more need to be on the run. You could settle down and raise Malcolm without fear.” Hesitantly he added, “We could do it together.” 

As Hawke embraced him, Fenris had tensed, but slowly he began to relax and even hugged Hawke back. “You are right; I should not focus on the negative and instead look to the future.” He looked up at Hawke, his green eyes swirling with so many emotions. “If there is a future to be had, I would like it to be with you.” The kiss when it came was not the stuff of fairy tales, there was too much blood and sweat on them, but Hawke wouldn’t have changed a thing about it.

Behind them Hawke could hear Varric chuckling to himself and Merrill cooing about how cute they were together. Ignoring them though, Hawke pulled away from the kiss and smiled down at Fenris. “Let’s go and get our son and go home.”

“Yes, let’s go home.” Fenris agreed a fleeting smile on his face as he pulled back and lead the way out of The Hanged Man. Hawke hoped that Fenris’ words meant what he thought they did.

-

“Daddy!” Hawke caught Malcolm as he launched himself into his arms. “Missed you!”

Laughing, Hawke engulfed Malcolm in his arms, pressing kissed all over his little face. “I missed you to! Daddy was only gone for a few days though. I hope you were good for your papa while I was done?”

Malcolm nodded eagerly, wiggling to be put down and then grabbing Hawke’s hand to drag him back upstairs. “My room is done! Come see!” Hawke relented, letting his son pull him up the stairs, toward the room that had once belonged to his mother. 

He found Fenris and Orana inside, the two of them working together to finish making the bed. Despite Malcolm’s insistence at dragging him inside, Hawke couldn’t help but stop and take a moment to marvel at the fact that months after defeating Danarius, Fenris was still here with him. Sometimes Hawke still woke up at night in fear that he had left, only to find Fenris curled up against his chest sleeping soundly. 

“Hawke, you’ve returned. I trust things went well?” Fenris asked, setting the stuffed toy he was holding down on the bed and going over to give Hawke a peck on the cheek. “There were no issues?” He asked again, when Hawke became too distracted with wrapping Fenris in his arms to answer.

“No troubles at all. Aveline really was over reacting about what was going on. It turns out the caravan in question got lost and broke a wheel. We found them and helped them on their way here with only a few bandits to deal with.” Hawke boasted, pulling Fenris against him for a deeper kiss. 

Laughing as he pulled away, Fenris wiggled out of his grasp and bent over to scoop a pouting Malcolm up. “Next time you will bring me along, I do not wish for my skills to go rusty.”

Knowing that there was no sense in arguing, Hawke wrapped his arms around the love of his life and their son and held them both close. “I will. You think I can get Varric to babysit while we’re out?” 

Fenris snorted at that, while Malcolm perked up in excitement. “I like uncle Varric’s stories about daddy and papa best!”

“I’ll make sure to tell him that so that he can write you lots more stories; all of them with happy endings,” and happy beginnings to, just like his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first completed multi-chapter fic! Huzzah! Thanks everyone for reading, reviewing, and leaving kudos. I couldn't have done it all without you!
> 
> Sorry for any grammar/spelling/ect. mistakes, this story is un-betaed.


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